


Choices

by malecyday



Series: Malec Drabbles [13]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec wants to fight for them, Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt, M/M, Magnus tries to be strong, post 2x18, post malec break up, that episode killed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecyday/pseuds/malecyday
Summary: Magnus doesn’t know what to expect, and that scares him. He imagines what the messages could possibly contain. More apologies? Tears? Alec screaming and yelling, angry that Magnus let him go after all they’ve been through?Alec calls Magnus after Magnus decides they need some time apart (I refuse to say they br*ke u*).





	Choices

The familiar ring Magnus has learned to ignore over the past day fills his quiet loft.

Again.

Magnus clenches his jaw as he looks over to find the same name that has already popped up multiple times today and yet hurts to look at every time. And, just like the first time the infernal noise sounded and he looked over, a sharp yet hopeful pain stabs at his chest.

_Alexander._

Each time, he has looked down at his phone like it would bite him if he tried to go near it, and so now there are numerous messages lying in his inbox he doesn’t dare touch.

He doesn’t know what to expect, and that scares him. He imagines what the messages could possibly contain. More apologies? Tears? Alec screaming and yelling, angry that Magnus let him go after all they’ve been through?

Magnus tries to focus back on his work when his phone quietens down, attempting to subdue the guilt and regret that threaten to persuade him to call back, or at least _listen_ to the messages.

He _can’t_. It’s too late for that. He made his choice. He walked away from Alexander to protect his people because he can’t have both. His long years of loss have taught him that, if nothing else. Love comes at a price.

Hopelessly, and with tears threatening to spill over for the third time that day, Magnus looks back at his phone. Unconsciously, he fiddles with the omamori in his pocket.

Why can’t the Shadowhunter just get the hint? Why can't the stupidly stubborn Shadowhunter see that Magnus' mind is made up? Or, what if he did, and the last message he left is him accepting it? Saying goodbye?

Magnus feels his heart stop at the very thought and then, without even fully registering it, he’s reaching for his phone and unlocking it, going straight to his messages. He taps the first one, dread weighing his stomach down.

There’s a few moments of heavy breathing before a word is spoken. “I don’t know if you’re even listening to these,” Alec laughs, humorlessly. Then more silence, and the slight rustling of sheets telling Magnus he probably in bed. Alone. Alec sighs. “They’ve mostly been nonsense and apologies and an embarrassing amount of love confessions. Which is your fault, honestly. If I've learned anything from you, it's to fight for what I think is right.” He lets out an unsteady breath that borders on a sob, cutting off his mild rambling as he ponders his own words. “And _us,_ Magnus, _we’re right._ But I…I suppose I’ll let you come to that conclusion yourself." Alec pauses, and the only indication that the message isn't over is his heavy breathing. Magnus waits, eyes shut tight.

"I love you. Remember that.”

Then, silence. Deafening silence that Magnus doesn’t dare interrupt even with his thoughts. He just stares down at the one listened to voicemail among the sea of unread ones, uncertain of what he had been hoping for.

Alec's words from the night before echo in his head.  _We always seem to find our way back to each other._

And for a moment, hope fills every ounce of Magnus' being. He hopes Alec is right. He hopes this isn't the end. But he made his decision. So, closing his eyes, Magnus releases an unsteady breath, and deletes the message.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write angst often, so this was a quick one heh x)  
> Yell at me down in the comments if you want, here or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/Samwastherealhe), or talk about how dead you are after that episode. I'm especially dead because Matt replied to me on twitter after the episode when I was already in the process of dying. Still not over it.  
> Thanks for reading!! :)


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